[ If anyone’s going to manage to do that it’s York, she knows that. But she types about ten variations of ‘should I come down there?’ anyway, deleting each one immediately. No. She shouldn’t. She’d just make this worse somehow. ]
okay
okay just
make sure he’s okay
i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to set him off like this
[ God, she wants to hit something so bad. She needs a damn punching bag in this apartment. Instead all she can do is pace, then throw herself onto her own bed and scream into a pillow. ]
It's her fault if it's anyone's. But I still...I still...
[ Talking through the tears is helping, but he's still giving some hiccups and gasps and half-sobs here and there. ]
I feel like I abandoned her? And she wants...something better than what we had before...some better relationship...but I don't even know if I, if I can.
[ He knows it's contradictory. He feels bad he hasn't been there for her, but being around her is making it difficult. ]
Honestly, I think if this is gonna work it's going to have to be a healthier relationship than before. But that's not all on you -- she's a healthier person here.
[ It's easier for him to focus on that than the abandonment feeling, which isn't terribly logical but he knows from years with Delta that someone telling you as much doesn't necessarily help. ]
[ His tone is softer than the words themselves, but he's not afraid to give a bit of a push here, either. If this is going to resolve he's going to have to go outside his comfort zones -- he knows what North is like. ]
I'm not saying you have to forgive her right away -- I haven't -- but I don't think she's quite the same person who did all that shit, either.
[ He pauses, thinking about it, giving York a tighter squeeze and working to even his breathing after the tears. ]
Yeah, okay. I guess I need to...work on my stuff, too.
[ She's accusing him of being condescending, and he's having trouble seeing it. He knows he's a little overbearing but not condescending, for heaven's sake. ]
Everybody has stuff to work on. Do you see what she means, though?
[ Admitting it's the first step. Their relationship was never perfect -- none are, but the Project was able to exploit things because of all the problems that were there. It found the cracks and jammed a crowbar in to break them apart. ]
[ North's torn. He's grateful for York's touch, for the softness in his eyes.
He doesn't feel the same about what York says.
North's got a huge problem with being passive-aggressive. That, he does and has admitted to in the past. He almost says something in that vein, and the expression in his eyes probably shows that he's fighting within himself about it. But instead he takes a deep breath. ]
[ Good on him for not getting passive aggressive, but come on, North. York presses his lips together thoughtfully, trying to figure out the gentlest way to put what he wants to say. ]
So, I get where it comes from. South was always the one getting into trouble, right? And you were always the one getting praised and rewarded. You wanted to help her along, but... there comes a point where you've gotta trust someone to make their own choices, and I think she's finally at that point where you don't have to treat her like a kid sister who doesn't know any better.
[ That wording at the end was exactly what North needed to hear. Because he does tend to think of her that way. But there also does seem to be something different about her now. He lets out a thoughtful hum. ]
Okay...okay. You're right. I guess I could be a little patronizing toward her.
[ She's laid face first on her pillow when her device doesn't just give a text notification, but starts ringing, and she can't quite scramble up quickly enough. Fumbles and nearly declines instead of accepts, but doesn't. ]
York? Is everything okay?
[ Yes, her instinct is that something's wrong and it's York on North's device again. ]
[ North reaches for York's hand. He doesn't really want York to leave. York's the one who helped him decide to talk to her some more, and helped him think through the thing in the first place. ]
You don't have to.
[ The hand-holding should make that more clear though. ]
...yeah, uh, up to you. I don't— I just upset him, before, so.
[ She doesn't exactly want to drag York into this, stick him between them, but she doesn't remember the last time anything upset North that badly and she just... does not trust herself not to somehow fuck it up again so soon after, at least. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ If anyone’s going to manage to do that it’s York, she knows that. But she types about ten variations of ‘should I come down there?’ anyway, deleting each one immediately. No. She shouldn’t. She’d just make this worse somehow. ]
okay
okay just
make sure he’s okay
i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to set him off like this
[ God, she wants to hit something so bad. She needs a damn punching bag in this apartment. Instead all she can do is pace, then throw herself onto her own bed and scream into a pillow. ]
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[ A couple ragged gasps. ]
It's her fault if it's anyone's. But I still...I still...
[ Talking through the tears is helping, but he's still giving some hiccups and gasps and half-sobs here and there. ]
I feel like I abandoned her? And she wants...something better than what we had before...some better relationship...but I don't even know if I, if I can.
[ He knows it's contradictory. He feels bad he hasn't been there for her, but being around her is making it difficult. ]
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[ It's easier for him to focus on that than the abandonment feeling, which isn't terribly logical but he knows from years with Delta that someone telling you as much doesn't necessarily help. ]
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She is?
[ He knows that's true, but it'll help to have York explain it again. ]
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[ He doesn't mean to sound overly harsh about North's twin, but. He also sure likes this improved version better. ]
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[ But he sounds lost, confused, speaking haltingly. ]
York, god, it was almost easier when we weren't speaking.
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[ His tone is softer than the words themselves, but he's not afraid to give a bit of a push here, either. If this is going to resolve he's going to have to go outside his comfort zones -- he knows what North is like. ]
I'm not saying you have to forgive her right away -- I haven't -- but I don't think she's quite the same person who did all that shit, either.
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Yeah, okay. I guess I need to...work on my stuff, too.
[ She's accusing him of being condescending, and he's having trouble seeing it. He knows he's a little overbearing but not condescending, for heaven's sake. ]
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[ Admitting it's the first step. Their relationship was never perfect -- none are, but the Project was able to exploit things because of all the problems that were there. It found the cracks and jammed a crowbar in to break them apart. ]
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Kind of. I mean, I wouldn't use the word she's using, but I can kind of see it.
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Only kind of?
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You think so, too.
[ It's sort of a question, sort of a revelation. York and him are...whatever they are, now...and York thinks he's condescending. ]
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Not much with me. But you definitely think that your way's best, and with South? I probably would've said patronizing but I know what she means.
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He doesn't feel the same about what York says.
North's got a huge problem with being passive-aggressive. That, he does and has admitted to in the past. He almost says something in that vein, and the expression in his eyes probably shows that he's fighting within himself about it. But instead he takes a deep breath. ]
I don't know how I'm supposed to treat her, then.
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So, I get where it comes from. South was always the one getting into trouble, right? And you were always the one getting praised and rewarded. You wanted to help her along, but... there comes a point where you've gotta trust someone to make their own choices, and I think she's finally at that point where you don't have to treat her like a kid sister who doesn't know any better.
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Okay...okay. You're right. I guess I could be a little patronizing toward her.
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Just keep talking to her. I think that'll help more than anything.
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[ He sits the rest of the way up. ]
Let me have my phone.
[ Once he has it he impulsively decides to voice call South. Maybe at this point doing it out loud would be better. ]
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[ She's laid face first on her pillow when her device doesn't just give a text notification, but starts ringing, and she can't quite scramble up quickly enough. Fumbles and nearly declines instead of accepts, but doesn't. ]
York? Is everything okay?
[ Yes, her instinct is that something's wrong and it's York on North's device again. ]
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Oh. Oh, shit, sorry, I just— you were— yeah.
[ An awkward cough. ]
...everything— you okay? York, he okay?
[ She also doesn't trust him to just outright say if he's still not, okay. ]
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[ He's as surprised as South that North decided to call right now, though. Sure, he said keep talking, but. ]
You guys want me to give you some privacy?
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You don't have to.
[ The hand-holding should make that more clear though. ]
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...yeah, uh, up to you. I don't— I just upset him, before, so.
[ She doesn't exactly want to drag York into this, stick him between them, but she doesn't remember the last time anything upset North that badly and she just... does not trust herself not to somehow fuck it up again so soon after, at least. ]
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Then I'll stick around for now. What did you want to say, North?
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