duplicity inbox

[ownperson]

[ text | voice | video | action ]

Comments

[astraythought]

This doesn't mean I'm not still coming to you for quota. It just means I can go home afterwards without worrying about elevator trouble and the gangs. I may actually be visiting more often, if you don't mind.

[ownperson]

of course i don't mind, ducky. i like having you around y'know. wouldn't even mind if you did still wanna sleep over occasionally

[ She's not going to say that she kind of hopes she does, because the apartment is still too damn quiet and she sleeps better with someone over. ]

so felix gaeta huh

[astraythought]

Occasionally. Not too often, that could still lead to trouble. And eventually you'll have a partner of your own living with you. Right?

But yes, Felix Gaeta. I've grown to trust him, after a few rounds of "Duplicity magic"--our first month here, I met the native version of him, for example. He's never been cruel to me, nor I to him. And he's intelligent, which is always a bonus.

[ownperson]

sure, yeah, eventually

[ She hasn't even really been looking, even though she knows she probably should be by now. The idea of having to be responsible for a relative stranger, even insomuch as absolutely required even if she imagines most won't expect more, is just... a lot. ]

yeah i've met him a couple times. once was the native him. those versions of us were friends.

[ Cannot say the same of the real them, exactly. ]

[astraythought]

South, you have three weeks left. Please don't end up in jail? Even if it's a pure contract of convenience, find someone.

[ownperson]

three weeks is still three weeks

i'll figure something out, i've just had more on my mind y'know?

[ Total cop out excuse, really. ]

[astraythought]

South Dakota, I need you to actively put in the effort. Please. Remember that you have the power to ensure a submissive has a comfortable, easy life, with more freedom than they'd have uncontracted.

[ownperson]

[ Why does Ducky have to have good points all the time, huh. ]

breaking out the full agent name huh

yeah, no, i know, you're right. just wrapping my head around having that much power over someone's life is kinda

a lot

[astraythought]

It is a lot. And opting out isn't an option we have.

You know I'm not going to leave you alone about this, right?

[ownperson]

yeah, i know. and i'm trying not to get fuckin like

contrary about it?

cause i do that, when people bug me about something. well. mostly when drew bugs me about something

and i don't wanna be that kind of pain in the ass right now. or to you like, ever

[astraythought]

But you still have that urge, because of how you and him are. I get that South, I really do.

That said, if you make it to December 13th without a contract, I'm going to become the largest thorn in your side.

[ownperson]

man you have no idea how much a fuckin’ relief it is sometimes how much you get that kinda thing

[ So many people are dismissive of the way her dynamic with North has, in many ways, irrevocably shaped who she is. She knows it’s her responsibility to fix it, that she twisted herself into this in just as many ways, but it’s nice when people aren’t dismissive of it all. ]

but yeah, that’s fair, i guess. if it comes to me having to ask on the damn network i’ll do that, maybe

[ She could not want to do that less if she tried, honestly. Less than she wants to contract at all. ]

[astraythought]

If you need help vetting people, I've been taking my time getting to know people. Admittedly, I've focused a lot on Dominants, but there's a few submissives I know of, who are looking.

[ownperson]

that might help. most of the uncontracted submissives i know are like. dudes from home. which is two levels of weird. i can handle like, one level at best

[ She knows contracts of convenience don't really have to reflect your sexuality, they're just covering your ass, but friends from home and dudes is just. Twice the awkward. There's Lina, but... ]

[astraythought]

I can understand how awkward that would get. There's only one person from home I'd ever consider for a contract. Even then, it would likely lead to conversations I intend to never have.

[ownperson]

yeah, kinda same? probably not for the same reasons, tho

[ She'd take CT on in a heartbeat except for not wanting to deal with finding out if they were even actually friends, in CT's eyes. She'd be far too scared of her saying no, that even that was one-sided, South seeing something that wasn't there. ]

but yeah, i get that too. not that it matters when they're not around and hopefully won't be. since y'know, i wouldn't wish this on ppl

[astraythought]

Exactly. With luck, I'll never see anyone I know here, ever.

[ownperson]

fingers crossed, the only good thing abt having having ppl from home around is the 'they're not dead here and neither am i so we can fix shit' shit and that's STRESSFUL

[ If Ducky catches that slip, it'll be the second time she told someone she's dead at home without even meaning to. ]

[astraythought]

[There's a definite pause before the next message.]

I'm glad you have that opportunity.

[ownperson]

oh fuck what did i say this time

[ She doesn’t tend to read much into every pause but that one has her glancing back at what she wrote. And, sure enough. ]

ah, shit

y’know one day i’ll go a month without my mouth or fingers working faster than my brain. one day

[astraythought]

We don't need to talk about it. I recognize it's your right not to talk about it.

But I did catch that.

[ownperson]

i kinda avoid it bc i don’t wanna freak people out, y’know?

it’s a weird thing to drop on people. ‘hi, i’m technically dead’ isn’t exactly small talk

it hasn’t actually happened yet, if that means anything. got yoinked before i lived it

[ Which 100% makes it weirder, really. ]

[astraythought]

But you've found out about it from the others from your world, here. And knowing you, you're avoiding thinking about it too deeply.

[ownperson]

on the rig, before here, but yeah. i got told

[ The Wash from the rig made sure she knew, it was the first thing he really said to her—what was the last thing she remembered, her shooting him in the back or him putting a bullet between her eyes? But for obvious reasons, she can’t go into that. Besides, they get on now, it’s fine. ]

kinda? mostly cause i don’t know what good thinking about it does. either i go back and live it, or i stay here forever, at this point. was gonna dodge it entirely, if i’d made it home from the rig, but that’s off the table now

[ She thinks about it more than she should, she thinks. Thinking about it, believing she deserved it, is what freaked North out so bad last time. ]

[astraythought]

South...

I don't know what to say. I don't know if there is anything that would be right for me to say about it.